I Would Rather Being Broken-hearted by a Guy!

January 7th, 2008 by talkingtoddler

HelloThe 3rd of January will always be remembered as yet another heart-breaking day in my life. How could a day that started off so well ended as a painful life experience that I don’t think I can ever forget?

In the morning, helping out with the clients’ needs and watching them smile back at me made my day. In the afternoon, late lunch with Nisa at Coffee Bean was great - girls’ talks never fail to lift my spirit. But in the evening, there I was… climbing the stairs and anticipating to see her in my room after a hard day at work, cheerfully calling out her nickname.

There was no reply.

Typically she would answer me back with her sweet chortles whenever her nickname was being called. I assumed she was in the balcony and couldn’t hear me, so I checked. Again, I greeted her. For the second time, there was silence.

I started to become frantic, bursting back into my room and looking at the cage - and only found her partner, Popcorn, there and standing still. I looked inside the wardrobe, where it is always kept open, just in case she was hiding between the hangers - one of among her favourite spots. I bended on my knee and scanned under my bed.

I searched all over the places in the house… but Sun-Ray was nowhere to be found. That instant I knew Sun-Ray, my female pearl cockatiel, was gone.

What ever did I do wrong? The question kept circling in my head as I succumbed to the fact that I’m going through the very same hell as the time I found out my sun conure, Spunky, flew out of the window. How I wish it was all a nightmare and would million times rather being broken-hearted by a guy than having my ‘baby’ out of my life.

Pray the best for me, people.

High-School Revisited?

December 10th, 2007 by talkingtoddler

Wow! After all this while, I can’t believe that I’m back writing on this blog. I never thought I would, either continue writing on Talking Toddler or start updating my Friendster profile again. Had this idea once that Friendster was ‘High-School Revisited’ - and still is. People compete with each other on who has the highest number of friends, who receive the coolest comments, who’s got the funkiest profile… and so on. It was fun, really, and addictive… but at some point in my life, it bored me and I needed a break.

Since my last post, countless events have obviously taken places. I’m no longer a Mass Communication major student who spent her spare time reading books on bad influences of certain advertisements upon society. As a matter of fact, I’ve been working for over a year at a post-production house that helps to produce numerous broadcast commercials every month that the ever-haunting question of "how much does this ad depict distorted notions of life and reality to the public?" simply does not exist anymore. Working on crazy hours, there are times I find myself reminiscing about the past and inevitably, I miss my old friends very much. New friends keep asking when I would want to add them in the friends’ list; and believe me, some even jokingly ‘threaten’ to end up the real-life friendship!

My return also was triggered by the one of the most heart-breaking experiences in my life when I lost a very dear friend in a car accident recently. Her name was Nur Huda Mahfuz. Back in university time, she was my roommate. But she was more than that; indeed, she was a true friend - someone whom I had turned to whining about having had a bad day, asking for advice about my rotten relationship with my then-boyfriend, or as a sleeping buddy after watching a horror flick late at night. When the world turned its back on me, I knew she would always be there on my back…

After almost a year not getting touch since graduation, she was the one who initiated the contact. We had promised to meet, but had yet to confirmed on the date and venue. Work was always the excuse, but at the back of my mind, I had always known that she was only a phone call away. So young and beautiful was she, I learnt that life is too short to take people for granted. If you love somebody - really, really love somebody - you should always make some time for them. Even a simple ‘hello’ will do, showing that you appreciate and care. But in my case with Huda, it’s already too late before I finally realize… 

And here I am…

High-School Revisited? Ah, who cares!

Neddie: Feel free to visit my other pages:-
1. Angels In Disguise - Blog on Animals
2. The Crazy Bunch - Blog on Colleagues
3. Raqs Sharqi Sameerah - Blog on Bellydance
4. Neddie - Shutterfly - Online Album Collection

Introduction to Economics

May 31st, 2006 by talkingtoddler

While writing this entry, I’m watching The Exchange on TV3. Basically, it’s a program about commerce and economics. I have to confess this, I’m totally bad at economics (and that explains why I’m awful at managing money).

Ringgit_malaysia_1I still remember when I was in the second-year of studying, wanting to know more about economics, I asked to borrow a friend’s (who was majoring in the field) book. She lent me her classroom textbook entitled Introduction to Economics. She now has graduated, but I still haven’t started reading it even a page. Let alone return it to her! Terrible, terrible…

Recently I bought a magazine called Personal Money partly because I wanted to gain more knowledge, to explore the world I’m so not used to. The other reason was because one of the articles was about financial management for single women. I must say, since everything was new to me, I found it hard to digest the information because of the jargons. Call it semantic noise.* (Now that’s familiar to me!) But isn’t there a saying that goes ‘no pain, no gain’? Endure the hardship, and I’ll be on my way to being smart in handling my finance. And yes, in the future, I could also save my hard-earned money supposedly to pay a financial planner’s fee and instead, have the real spa experience in Bali!

Neddie’s Note: *Semantic noise - A Communication terms that denotes the interference in the delivery of message(s) in terms of language.

Image: http://www.free.com.my/

A theorist in the making?

April 7th, 2006 by talkingtoddler

Words cannot describe how I feel right now. Should I jump in merry? Should I cry in joy? I remember experiencing this feeling on the last day I walked out of the examination hall for SPM. Or, should I excitedly exclaim "Merdeka!!" to every single person I meet, like those times?

I’m sure those who’ve been in my situation understand better. It’s as if a big rock that has been burdening you being lifted… and it feels so light and free. It feels free to be able to read more books other than textbooks, to spend hours of belly-dancing, to catch up with the latest movies, to update my blog and continue my passion in writing, to have a great time outing with family and friends without worrying about the assignments, to follow the next episode of Luna La Heredera (even though I’m completely clueless about the plot!), to watch the re-runs of Rubi (although I look forward more to Sebastian Rulli’s scenes!), to finally fulfill Dr. Essmat’s invitation and have long lunch with her after giving "Ana mashghullah al-yaum (I’m busy today)" as excuses before… and above all, to simply do nothing and have a long rest with no guilty-feeling about it!

Yesterday was the last day of my Final examination, final year and final semester. The Communication Theory paper was among the best papers I could answer during four years being in this university, and even if I had to turn back time, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s a reading subject, a fundamental one for my course. Initially I hated the subject, but keeping in mind that I want to be excellent in the field I’m in, never mind having to memorize the theoretician(s) of every theory as well as the theoretical statement and theoretical discussions! There was even one time when I felt like changing my career plan to being a theorist myself!!

At the moment, I’m dealing with mixed plans for the future. I like the idea of as Jamieblur_2 much spending blissful time I could before jumping into the workforce scene. Take your time, people keep saying to me. But I like the idea of starting to work as soon as possible more, scoring the Account Executive (nothing to do with accounting; also known as Advertising Executive) post in any of the advertising agencies I have sent my resume and cover letter to. Everything is uncertain…

… except the fact that I’ll be working as an Examination Invigilator at University Malaya starting this 12th of April!

Neddie’s Note: Shah, I changed my mind. No need to lend me your Tash Aw’s The Harmony Silk Factory. I learnt that MPH is listing 100 Must-Read! books - and MPH Readers’ Circle members are entitled 30% of every book. That book is one of them!

Image: My own collection. (This is my family’s kitten, Jamie. Right now, I think, my state of mind is like Jamie in this picture - vulnerable and full of uncertainty of what the future may hold.)

Memahami Bahasa Cinta Lelaki - Zamri Mohamad

April 2nd, 2006 by talkingtoddler

I’m not merely doing my friend, a Desktop Computing for Magazines and Newspapers ex-classmate, a favour. Personally, I think Zamri Mohamad is one gifted writer who was born to write. His writings has been published in several national newspapers and magazines, and the topics range from serious news reportings to lifestyle. Below is an excerpt of the e-mail he sent to me, promoting his book on love and relationships.

Cinta_lelaki“Cinta tidak menjadikan dunia berputar, tetapi ia membuat perjalanan hidupmu bermakna.” - Franklin P. Jones

“Sambil berpandangan satu sama lain, bukan itu sekadar namanya cinta. Ia adalah melihat kepada satu arah yang sama.” - Antoine de Saint

Apakah itu cinta? Dari mana ia bermula dan bagaimana ia berkembang? Apakah jenis cinta yang aku miliki saat ini? Tanyalah beberapa soalan berkenaan cinta dan tanyakan kembali kepada diri anda soalan terakhir berkaitannya, adakah aku telah memahami cinta?

Buku Memahami Bahasa Cinta Lelaki sebagai satu fenomena dalam dunia pembaca melalui penulisan yang mudah dan diyakini dapat mencapai maksud dan tujuannya.

Ia adalah hadiah yang kami beri kepada mereka yang menginginkan seseorang yang bernama teman dan pasangan dalam hidup ini untuk waktu seterusnya.

Ia membawa anda kepada satu perjalanan untuk memahami permulaan cinta sehinggalah kemuncak melalui perbandingan, persamaan, perbezaan dan cabaran untuk membina hubungan cinta bersama.

Percintaan hadir dengan segala sifat. Ia dapat dirasa, dapat dikongsi dan dapat dilihat dari gerak tubuh pasangan. Adakah dia benar-benar mencintai, atau sebaliknya.

Dalam menyelamai bahasa cinta, kita perlu menyelami perbezaan dan persamaan antara lelaki dan wanita apabila meluahkannya.

Semoga keindahan cinta yang cemerlang akan menjadi sinar yang menerangi hidup kita sepanjang masa. Gapailah cinta yang terbilang.

Neddie’s Note: The Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur is back, from 24th of March until 2nd of April, at Dewan Tun Razak PWTC. So, what are you waiting for?

Image: Courtesy of Zamri Mohamad.

The price for being friendly…

March 16th, 2006 by talkingtoddler

For a girl who came from co-ed primary and secondary schools to further studies at an Islamic university, I found it hard to adopt my own standards of friendliness to the opposite sex.

First, I’ll be accused of sending the wrong nonverbal messages after the guy thought I’ve been having feelings for him all along. I’ve lost count how many times that incident has occured, but everytime it happens, I feel like screaming to his face: "Look, we might have talked like we’ve known one another since forever on the first day we met, but that doesn’t mean I’ve found the love of my life; that I’ve agreed to be your steady girlfriend; that I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with you!!"

One plays ignorant about my wish for us to stay friends and still insists, "What’s with us?" One offers me to be the second wife and that his woman is "a different story". And one, when casually asked the reason for his bachelorhood, responded, "I’ve been waiting for you!" How lame!!

Second, I’ll be accused of being a floozy girl.

One, who had always been nice, phoned me one day late at night and asked me to "’play’ with myself". One, who had also always been nice, gave me a call to relate to me about his wet dream. And one, in a coincidental encounter after a long time not seeing each other, reached for my hand and held it tightly fSexual_harassmentor awhile… before bringing it to his oh-yo u-know-where! (Up to this day, I can never forgive myself for not taking any action on that sexual harassment!)

So, what’s a girl to do? I try to play safe now by toning down my friendliness, so much so that sometimes people regard me as being a cold fish.

Neddie’s Note: Ever been in the same situation?

Image: http://www.iun.edu/

Historical Dimensions of Mutual Misconceptions between the Muslim World and the West

March 5th, 2006 by talkingtoddler

Clash_of_civilizations_1Profound interest in history notwithstanding, nothing had prepared me for Historical Dimensions of Mutual Misconceptions between the Muslim World and the West - even if it was only a half-day seminar. The simple title, apparently, didn’t do justice to it.

The guest speaker was Dr. Andreas Radtke, the First Secretary of the Embassy of the Federal Republic of Germany to Malaysia. The discussants were Emeritus Prof. Dato’ Osman Bakar, from International Institute of Islamic Thought and Civilization (ISTAC); Prof. Abdullahi Ahsan, from Kulliyah of Islamic Revealed Knowledge and Human Sciences (KIRKHS); and Assoc. Prof. Kamar Oniah Kamaruzzaman, from KIRKHS. The moderator was Prof. Abdul Rasheed Moten, also from KIRKHS. The two-and-a-half-an-hour discourse was organized by two departments under the umbrella of KIRKHS, Department of History and Civilization and Department of Political Science.

The need of such a seminar was pointed out by the Dean of KIRKHS, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Hazizan Mohd. Noon, in the opening remark as owing to contemporary reasons and historical/classical reasons. The moderator, then, kept the objective simple by asserting that the talk is hoped to erase misperceptions of one side to the other.

Dr. Andreas Radtke went on a lengthy introduction about himself, which was rather amusing. He’s a Catholic Christian, but possesses Master’s Degree in Arabic Language and Doctor of Philosophy in Arabic Language and Islamic Studies. You’ll be forgiven for accusing me as a captive of stereotype, but I suppose I wasn’t alone in quickly prejudging him as an orientalist, to which he strongly denied. He began his presentation by showing pictures of the Bradenburg Gate, Central Berlin in May 1945 and today; the Memorial Church and Hiroshima; the 9/11 incidents; and Osama bin Laden. Having a Master’s Degree in Media Studies as well, he asserted that images trigger emotions and convey messages, and those historical images give historical knowledge that allows us to understand better why we see what we see; prove wrong any cultural determinism; and immunize us against all too simple propaganda. The discussion is divided into four parts. Part One deals with Secularism in the West. This was further elaborated into: (i) Critique of Secularism. Secularism is a flowing process in the West, and in Germany specifically, it is a separation between the church and the state. The scope of influence of religion is determined by democratic process. The question is, is secularism a surrogate religion with a universal truth claim? (ii) Secularism in German history. A German "clash of cultures" from 1871 to 1879, where civil marriage was made obligatory in 1875. It was a thousand years of struggle over the scope of church influence in politics. (iii) Case Study: Civil Marriage. The picture shown was his sister (who’s a Catholic lady) and brother-in-law (who’s a Protestant man) tying the knot in front of two priests of each sect. Civil marriage first took place was in 1855, with the background of quarrels between different confessions. It took 20 years to be regulated obligatory by Bismarck, and the image of his sister’s wedding indicates that conversions is no longer necessary prior to the ceremony. Part Two concerns about Western secularism. Three sub-topics discussed were: (i) Legitimate and unjustified criticism. It is a long tradition of Western scholarship on Islam. Scholars at times misinterpreted Islam, and sometimes deliberately, either to degrade or to humiliate. (ii) How to study and teach about the "other"? Matters of faith must be taught by the believers. Matters of historical context must be taught in line with methodology curriculum. As in Islam, Qur’anic studies is most sensitive. (iii) Intra-Muslim discourse. "Exposure of inherent mechanisms of power through discourse analysis." Idealistic approach to Islam versus approach based on social realities. Part Three pertains to Muslims’ view on history. (i) Muslims’ conceptions of history. They view world history through theological lenses, and that is before and after the revelation. There is a linkage between history and the interpretation of the Scripture. (ii) Muslims’ self-conceptions of history. The emergence of Islam is a distinct historical process with idiosynocrasies. They define experience of the first generation of Muslims with victory and success. Feelings of nostalgia and revivalism are common in a situation of powerlessness. In conclusion, Part Four, Dr. Radtke stressed on knowledge of history helps to "put things in perspective"; relative value of history itelf differs between cultural traditions; try to find a common narrative of events; and if that proves impossible, know and respect the other’s narrative.

The second speaker, Prof. Abdullahi Ahsan, corrected Dr. Radtke’s point that Muslims’ conceptions of history is not always theological. For instance, the cartoon controversy. On the surface, people perceive it as a clash of civilizations. But if studied deeply, two elements that triggered the Muslims’ furore; belief perspective and double-standard perspective.

Assoc. Prof. Kamar Oniah Kamaruzzaman, the next speaker, was somewhat bold and outspoken. She started off by affirming her belief on gender equality, and doesn’t really prefer the "brother" and "sister" callings. Back to the point, more often than not, Muslims define themselves as in their own point of view to the non-Muslims. Instead, they ought to define themselves to the non-Muslim audience according to the latter’s perspective. By that she means we have to make ourselves understandable in order to be understood. As to bridging the divide between the two sides, she cited Romeo and Juliet as an example. Hatred endured through generations from one family to the other. We live in this world for a very brief period of time, so why can’t we be decent to each other?

The term "Muslim World vs. West" is better than "Islam vs. West", as the final discussant, Emeritus Prof. Dato’ Osman Bakar, believes. This is because there’s "Islam" in the West, as there’s "West" in the Muslim World (not in terms of people, but rather modern Western culture). People might wonder, what are our mutual misconceptions? They may range from insignificant to dangerous points, but what are they? (He suggested another seminar on this.) It’s a problematic relationship between the Muslim World and the West; call it love-hate relationship. It can be illustrated from the angle of the other as the shaper of identity. Also from the angle of clash of civilizations, which happened twice in the past; the Crusades and the colonial era. In this period, the post-colonial era, there’s no clash - thanks to secularism. But misconceptions are there, and so, what do we do? Remove them, and he also refered to Dr. Radtke’s How to Study and Teach about the "Other"?

Neddie’s Note: The program of German Cultural Weeks 2006 is in progress. Interested to join, check out more information on The German Embassy, Kuala Lumpur.

Image: http://www.net4you.com/

Anytime she needs a friend…

February 25th, 2006 by talkingtoddler

How can I forget her calm temperament, her soft-spoken nature? How can I Friendshipforget her sense of humour, her cheerful laughter, and her sweet smile? How can I forget her glee upon knowing we share the same name? How can I forget her patience everytime I asked new words for my Arabic vocabulary?

Anytime You Need a Friend is a special friendship song written by Mariah Carey, and my all-time favourite. I would like to dedicate it to my junior classmate, Nadia Mohd. Nuh, who’s suffering from blood cancer (also known as leukemia). Currently, she’s taking time off from studies to undergo chemotherapy treatment. It’s been hard for me to accept this, but I know it’s even harder for her to endure what she’s going through. For that, my prayers will always be with her.

If you’re lonely
And need a friend
And troubles seem like
They never end
Just remember to keep the faith
And love will be there to light the way.

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You’ll never be alone again
So don’t you fear
Even if you’re miles away
I’m by your side
So don’t you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright.

When the shadows are closing in
And your spirit deminishing
Just remember you’re not alone
And love will be there
To guide you home.

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You’ll never be alone again
So don’t you fear
Even if you’re miles away
I’m by your side
So don’t you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright.

If you just believe in me
I will love you endlessly
Take my hand
Take me into your heart.
I’ll be there forever, baby
I won’t let go
I’ll never let go.

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You’ll never be alone again
So don’t you fear
Even if your miles away
I’m by your side
So don’t you ever be lonely
It’s alright
It’s alright.

Neddie’s Note: UHibbuki, ya Habibati ya Nadia! Get well soon…

Image: http://lapforum.lap.hu/

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

February 21st, 2006 by talkingtoddler

Murphys_law_1He may be one of the most prominent scientists in our history, but there are some laws Isaac Newton might have thought insignificant. I’d like to share something my father forwarded to my e-mail. Interesting!

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Neddie’s Note: It’s okay, dear Dad, because Edward Murphy had saved the day. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be Murphy’s Law!

Image: http://www.sjtsunoda.net/

Great Expectations

February 19th, 2006 by talkingtoddler

I was expecting the names like Pip, Miss Havisham, and Magwitch. I was expecting the opening where the seven-year-old main character is visiting his parents’ graveyard. I was expecting the boy’s sister in a typical Victorian dress, looking like a lady even though she’s abusive and aggresive for one. I was expecting a broken-hearted old lady in a wheel chair wearing her wedding gown all the time. I was expecting full British accent, London in the period when Queen Victoria reigned.

It doesn’t matter how many times I read Charles Dickens’ - to many people - best novel when I was a kid. Still, I was expecting a real adaptation. So much for expecting so great on this 1998 movie that I was left pretty much in disappointment. What did I get, instead?

I was getting the names like Finnegan Bell, Miss Nora Dinsmoor, Great_expectationsand Arthur Lustig. I was getting the opening where the ten-year-old main character is playing in the clear sea water, looking down at the fish, and drawing any one that catches his attention. I was getting the boy’s sister in a spaghetti strap top and short jeans with boy-cut hairdo, and she smokes! I was getting a broken-hearted old lady who, despite feeling aloof towards men for her bitter past experience, goes on with life and loves to dance! I was getting full American accent, Florida and New York in the 1970s-1980s.

Apart from sharing the same title, the modern movie still holds dearly to the classic novel’s major themes. Finn falls in love with Estella the first time he sets his eyes on her, and the love for the untouchable woman continues throughout the story. Looking up to Miss Dinsmoor’s and Estella’s high profile lifestyles, Finn gradually becomes ashamed of his background. In spite of the fact that he’s been told over and over again that Estella would break his heart (for she’s brought up by her aunt to despise men), by pursuing his dream and getting rich, Finn still desires to win her heart. But fame and wealth don’t equal to happiness…

Considering I was in a lovey-dovey mood, it was still a great movie.

Neddie’s Note: I may not quite like Ethan Hawke in real life, regardless of how heart-throbbing he is, but what woman could deny feeling attracted to Finn?

Image: http://www.amazon.com/